Uprooting and Stress: Is There a Better Way?

Imagine this with explosive diarrhea

     

Nature's Pain Relief

       Dude. I don’t even know where to start. It has been such a whirlwind and at times it feels as if I am barely hanging on, fingers about to slip into the swirling vortex of stress, anxiety, and, at times, depression. Fun times, right? Let’s not forget about the physical effects of this emotional turmoil, as I live with fibromyalgia and small fiber neuropathy, which can be aggravated by stress. Good thing I am not stressed, right? Oh, and diverticulitis and IBS are also affected by stress, so we’re over here playing naked Twister, trying not to soil ourselves. Great visual, right?            

So, how did we get here? Trees and heat. Seriously. See, I am not a fan of the heat and grew up in the San Francisco Bay Area, where the use of air conditioners was not something that was common, as the fog would often roll in, working as Mother Nature’s air conditioning. I currently live in the desert. Sure, there are some trees, but nothing like I lived among in the Pacific Northwest, where I was living prior to moving to Texas, then New Mexico. Fortunately, I work from home, so as long as I have an internet connection and WiFi, I’m good. Well, my boyfriend has been putting in for jobs with his company in various states, but all of which had cooler weather and either medicinal or recreational marijuana. Those were our main criteria.

Animals are friends for life. Not disposable. Not ours to eat or breed.

            Fast forward a few months and DING-DING-DING, we are bound for Durango, Colorado. Oh, and his supervisor wants him there in about two weeks. TWO WEEKS. TWO. MOTHERFUCKING. WEEKS. Not a problem. Let’s just work on finding a place, packing up all of our belongings, including our dogs, a turtle, and fish (because we are not the kind of people who put dogs up on Craigslist for “free” because they are moving to a new place that doesn’t allow pets), and move to another state in two weeks. Simple, right? Fuck.

            So, in order to ensure that we are not homeless once we arrive in Durango, we took a trip up there. Leaving a little before 5am and getting back after 10pm, it was a long day. But, we met with a realtor who showed us a place that we had been talking with the current tenant and landlord. Everything was going well until Monday morning, today, when I received an email from the current tenant, who stated that the landlord was not satisfied with our background check (namely my credit report), and as such, we would not be considered further for the house that we wanted to rent. Hopes? Dashed to smithereens. My heart sank.

Guaranteed to make you feel sexy as hell

            Perhaps my mood to hearing that we wouldn’t be able to rent the house we looked at was intensified due to an event that occurred earlier in the day. I have been having terrible post nasal drip for the past few months. It got to the point where I physically collapsed several times, hitting my head on a hard surface a few times due to becoming very lightheaded while trying to clear my throat of stuff that can only be described as having the consistency of cold molasses. I finally conceded to go to our local VA health clinic, where they gave me a shot of an anti inflammatory and prescriptions to the EXACT SAME FUCKING THING I HAD BEEN TAKING. Same dose. They then told me to come back into the clinic within the following week if I am not feeling better.

Not so Breaking News

Well, I am not feeling better, so I went back to the VA clinic this morning, prior to hearing the news about the place. Good thing too, as I would have probably been placed on a 5150 hold and unable to do the things I need to do in regards to the move, school, and work. After filling out the triage form, I took a seat and waited to be called back to be seen. That would not happen today, as a nurse (?) called me up to the window and told me that they can’t see me anymore since I had been referred out via the Choice program and had a civilian primary care provider now. Well, I saw that person once, for about five minutes, and she didn’t listen to me at all during that time. I was also told the previous week to return to the clinic location if I wasn’t feeling better. See the frustration?

Not actual house

So, we’re back to square one, looking for a place to live, while residing in a different state, seven hours away. We have expanded our search radius. I didn’t want to, as it snows there and my boyfriend will have to drive in the snow, which is why I wanted to be relatively close to his work, which is in Durango. We will be filling out more applications. One place looks like a murder house, but it’ll do for now, as the owner will be fixing it up more come the warmer months and then put it up for rent for a much higher price I presume.

You can donate by hitting the word PayPal

I am not one to ask for help lightly. I often pride myself on my ability to do things all by myself. However, I am not sure I will be able to maintain my sanity without a little help. I have been diagnosed with a number of chronic pain conditions, which are intensified by stress. I am trying to keep myself together, as the next month will be very stressful. If possible, if you feel so inclined, I have set up a link via PayPal if you would like to help me to maintain some sanity while we go through this stressful time. My boyfriend’s company isn’t providing any relocation assistance, so it’s just us, our savings, and rescues. After we get settled in the new place, wherever that may be, I will be working on my mental and physical health, finishing up my last course towards my MS degree in Clinical Psychology with a specialization in Applied Research, and hopefully able to breathe once again.

Thank you for reading and feel free to share this post with others 😀 

Better Late Than Never? Maybe.

Dude. Where to begin? I know I’m a bit of a flake when it comes to posting regular blogs,

** As evidenced by these two sentences and an incomplete sentence, which I started writing SIX DAYS AGO, I really do suck at being consistent when it comes to writing things that are not for work or school **

*** Here it is, the end of the month. I started writing this blog on the 12th of July. It’s now the 31st. Yet another failed attempt at trying to be consistent. ***

However, is it really a failure if I was able to work on a few things aside from what I was intending to complete? I am currently in my second to last course required for my MS in Clinical Psychology, with an added specialty of Applied Research. It feels like I have been chugging away in grad school for eons. One course after another that has nothing to do with my desired profession. Sometimes it just seems utterly pointless to throw money at a school that I really don’t feel has my best interest in mind. Heck, for crying out loud, I had to bring it to the attention of my previous professor that a fellow student had literally copied and pasted her discussion post directly from Wikipedia. Including the hyperlinks. Seriously. Then I had to remind my professor AGAIN a few weeks later that the same student was plagiarizing. However, I am nearing the end. Only one more course after I finish my current one. But, that begs the question, Then What?

I have a few ideas that I want to pursue. I currently work as a freelance writer, which allows me some flexibility in my schedule. This is how I have been able to walk the dogs for about 90 minutes total each day, which is good not only for them, but for myself too. Not only does walking help to tire out the pups, but walking, in conjunction with other measures, has allowed me to steadily lose weight, with my current loss standing at 91 pounds (41 kg) over the past two years.

As you can see, my days are quite busy. However, upon graduation, I will have a bit more time to explore additional avenues. One such possible venture will be able to be an outlet of sorts, while also using my academic achievements, as well as my personal achievements. Still a bit to figure out, but I will try to be a bit more consistent in sharing with you via my blog. You can also find me on Twitter and Instagram.

Let me know if you have any time management tips that you’d like to share. Also, feel free to share this blog on your social media sites. I’d love to hear from you!

Life's Annoyances

Wait, can this be real? Is this two posts on this blog in the same week? Back to back? Wow. That is quite impressive. Today went better than yesterday, as I have not broken anything...yet. The only frustrations I have experienced today pertained to the heat, as it was nearing triple digits by 10 this morning. This made our morning walks a little sticky and I made sure all of the pups were doing alright. Three of our dogs get about a mile walk, with our oldest pup doing between ½ to ¾ of a mile, at a slower pace. Didn’t run into any dogs off leash, which was nice. I wish that people would think about the impact that they have on the lives of others, including the lives of animals.

This leads into my view on my diet. I went gluten-free at the suggestion of my primary care provider when we were discussing my psoriasis and IBS symptoms. That was about two years ago and I haven’t had any gluten-containing products and I have noticed a change in my health. At the beginning of this year, I went vegan. This wasn’t a new thing for me, as I went lacto-ovo vegetarian in my teens and remained one for over a decade. However, this year was the first time I went completely vegan. I like knowing that my choices don’t cause the deaths of others, especially since I am an animal lover who has five dogs and a newly acquired rescue turtle name Harold.

The only real annoyances that I have experienced today was the washing machine a few minutes ago. It has a tendency to “walk” during the spin cycle. I adjusted the levelling feet, again, and after yelling, “Fucking piece of shit. Why don’t you fucking work?!” I ran it through a spin cycle, after removing the sopping wet towels. The cycle completed fine and I put the wet towels back in and, it appears that my words of encouragement worked. When I buy something, I expect it to work. When it doesn’t, it really annoys me to the point of lashing out in physical violence, but never at living things, but rather at the washing machine or heavy bag.

I really think the heat has something to do with my general level of annoyance, as there is no way to escape the heat. Sure, inside it is relatively comfortable since we have the swamp cooler Master Cool going, but using it makes me think of all the money that will be going to the utility company for the water and electricity that makes it run. However, it is currently 105℉, which is quite far from my personal comfort temperature of 70℉. In the winter, you can put clothes on if you are cold. However, in the summer, at least here in the desert, there’s nothing you can really do to escape the heat. I enjoy spending time outside, but not in this weather!

Work can be annoying too, especially when clients don’t really know what they want and they expect me to basically pull information out of my butt. Sorry, it doesn’t work that way. Only one thing comes out of there, and it’s not data. I have a couple of work projects that I picked up today, which is nice, considering I am saving up to buy a new phone to replace the one that I broke yesterday. I also have a few personal projects in the work that really need my attention. Lots of things, only one me.

Upon writing out the annoyances, I realized that many of them are out of my control, such as dogs off leash, the temperature in the MF’ing desert (don’t worry, we are working on moving in the next year or two), and the ineptitude of some clients. If I just accept that I don’t have the power or responsibility to change them, along with a few deep breaths, it will all be OK. Hopefully.

How do you deal with minor or major annoyances? Any tips? If so, feel free to leave them in the comments. It might help me or others learn how to cope with these irritations in life.

See you tomorrow*

*most likely, but no promises