Family Dynamics and Hollywood: Analyzing the Family Subsystem of Gil in Parenthood

Abstract

Families are an ever changing and evolving dynamic, each generation facing their unique challenges. However, there are often underlying commonalities that take the form of behaviors that are passed down from one generation to the next. With the help of a genogram, these relationships and behaviors become clearer, which allows for clients and counselors to recognize the patterns and embrace the positive aspects, while coming up with effective ways to deal with the not so positive inherited behaviors. This paper analyzes the family dynamics found within the Buckman family in the movie Parenthood (1989), with a focus on the subsystem consisting of Gil, his wife Karen, and their three children. A brief overview of two proposed family therapy models is also introduced, with suggestions of how each would be applicable to the Buckman family members.

Family Dynamics and Hollywood: Analyzing the Family Subsystem of Gil in Parenthood

            The way a family works, or doesn’t work, is unique to that particular family subsystem, as the experiences and interactions are specific to the family involved. As such, it is important to analyze the family as they are not what society deems to be what a family should consist of and how they should function. In order to more effectively assess the unique characteristics and dynamics present, counselors working with families have many tools at their disposal to allow for a holistic examination of the positive aspects as well as the possible red flags present in families. One such tool, the genogram, allows the counselor and the clients to recognize patterns and allow them to delve deeper into the possible causes of their current family turmoil.

Genogram for the Buckman Family

Family Dynamics

Immediate Family System

            When analyzing the family dynamic of Gil in the movie Parenthood (1989), there are several underlying contributing factors that may have allowed for the development of the current family state, primarily the stress that occurs as a family grows and evolves. It is relatively common for families to continue to evolve over time, as they move from one developmental stage to another. Gil and his wife Karen are both in their middle 30s to early 40s, and raising three children, Kevin, Taylor, and Justin. Gil plays an active role in the family and the communication between Gil and his wife, as well as Gil and his children appears to be healthy and respectful.

            While the communication is healthy, there does appear to be some turmoil arising in the family, primarily due to the troubles their son Kevin is experiencing in school. By analyzing the behavior of both Kevin and Gil, it appears that they share a desire to like things in a very specific way, in which dealing with change can be a challenge. Gil has some signs of possible Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, which may have been passed onto his son Kevin. Obsessive Compulsive Disorder or OCD sometimes runs in families and involves the areas of the brain associated with fear and anxiety (NIMH). Such an example as seen in Gil is when he was focused on finding his son Kevin’s retainer, digging through garbage bins and afterwards scrubbing his hands under a hose spigot. Such obsessive qualities were observed in Kevin’s behavior throughout the movie, which brought him great distress. However, there appeared to be more anxiety present than obsessive qualities, especially during his Little League practice and games and worrying about school and what his classmates think of him.

            The familial relationship between the other two children, Taylor and Justin, appear to be healthy, both between their siblings as well as with their parents. However, as Kevin’s OCD and anxiety episodes increase in the number of incidents and severity, Taylor and Justin risk not receiving the amount of attention they are currently used to receiving from their parents, which may result in negative attention-seeking behavior. Such behavior occurs when a child is not able to get the attention they desire or are used to receiving from their parents or caregivers (Goldsmith, 2010). Counseling and effective communication within the family can help to limit the likelihood of developing negative attention seeking behavior or other emotional distress.

            One of the biggest strengths in Gil’s direct family is the empathy shown between family members. As Gil experiences stress at work and decides to quit (not knowing that his wife Karen is pregnant), he and Karen are able to discuss the issue and come to a conclusion in a responsible and amicable, not to mention respectful way. The open dialogue also extends to the children within the family too, as there does not appear to be a stigma present regarding Kevin’s seeing of a counselor to help him deal with his anxiety issues.

            One weakness present in Gil’s immediate family, other than the possible hereditary anxiety issues is the overprotective qualities shown by the parents towards their children. They admitted to the school counselor that they were overprotective of Kevin when he was younger, which appears to still be present today. Gil’s own personal desire to make everything orderly within his life is challenged by his marriage to Karen who is more comfortable with the unpredictability associated with having children. The roller coaster metaphor used by Gil’s grandmother is instrumental in identifying the underlying differences that exist between Gil and his wife Karen.

Expanded Family Systems

As a child, Gil experienced a distant relationship with his father, often spending more time with other adults as opposed to spending time with his father. One such example was as a child, Gil and his father would go to a baseball game. However, instead of enjoying the time with his father, he would be accompanied by an usher working at the stadium. Gil did not desire to repeat the same behavior with his own children, as his father had viewed raising children as a “job” rather than as a joyous position. The distant relationship may be a contributing factor to Gil’s near over-involvement in the lives of his own children, including coaching his son Kevin’s Little League baseball while also working full time.

            As an adult, the relationship between Gil and his father continues to be distant, yet mutually respectful of one another. Despite the relationship being strained, it can still be viewed as a positive one. The relationship between Gil and his mother is not as clear, as his father appears to be a dominant personality, which extends to how he interacts with his wife, who has adopted a demure and quiet role in the family. Gil’s father appears to be more involved with Gil’s younger brother, Larry, who is troubled by a possible gambling addiction. While the relationship was not always close (his father kicked his brother Larry out while he was still a teenager) their father does show a desire to be close, in his own way, however, which is primarily shown by offering financial support and offering to care for Larry’s son, Cool. Such perceived preference among siblings could possibly be a behavior that has been passed onto Gil and his treatment towards his son Kevin. Gil should remain cognizant of such preference, in order to prevent negative attention seeking behavior or feels of being rejected among Gil’s other children, Taylor and Justin.

            Gil married a woman who was not like his mother, as his wife, Karen, is smart, outspoken, and involved in the life of her husband and children. There appears to be more effective communication between Gil and Karen than between Gil’s father and his mother, which allows for a positive exchange of dialogue between the head members of the family, each able to contribute their ideas to the family.

            Relationship patterns are often a product of the environment and the family system present during the childhood of the individual. Families often repeat themselves, in particular, the behaviors that are passed on from one generation to the next (McGoldrick, Gerson, & Petry, 2008). One of the behaviors that have been passed down to most of Frank and Marilyn’s children is the great pride they take in caring for their children. Larry seems to be the exception to the behavior, as he ends up leaving his son Cool with Frank and Marilyn in order to pursue a hare-brained get rich quick scheme.

Family Therapy Models

            Choosing the right and most appropriate model of family therapy can be a challenge, as families do not fit nicely within one category or another. Counselors need to take the unique intricacies into account when deciding on which approach to utilize with their clients. When considering the needs of Gil and the Buckman family, two family therapy models that could be useful to address the issues at hand consist of the Solution-Focused Brief Therapy (SFBT) and Narrative Therapy.

Solution-Focused Brief Therapy

            Solution-Focused Brief Therapy, or SFBT, focuses on finding solutions, rather than focusing on the problems that brought the couple to seek counseling. SFBT is a goal-driven and practical model which sets clear and concise goals. The straightforward approach may be more suited for individuals like Gil, who desire order and thrive on knowing what is expected of them. Such an approach may also be useful when working with clients who are experiencing anxiety disorders, as well as depression and issues related to self-concept and self esteem (Kim, 2006). Additionally, the SFBT approach may be useful for other members of the expanded family, such as Larry, since it has been shown to be effective with problem gambling (Kim, 2006).

            The use of the Miracle Question within SFBT is a useful tool, especially when working with couples, as it allows each member to share what they think life would be like if the identified problem was gone from their lives. The Miracle Question yields insight and allows the counselor and clients to work towards coming up with small steps that can be taken to align their envisioned life with their current one. While the communication between Gil, Karen, and their children appears to be effective and respectful, with the new baby on the way, it would be useful to implement the homework part that is associated with SFBT, in particular assignments that focus on maintaining the level of communication that is present in the family currently.

Narrative Therapy

            Narrative therapy would be a useful choice for working with the Buckman family, as it focuses on separating the person from the perceived problem. Rather than pointing fingers and placing blame upon individual family members, instead the Narrative approach allows for the family members to develop, along with the counselor, adaptive and healthy behaviors to appropriately deal with the issue at hand. One of the useful aspects of the Narrative approach includes the fact that it has been shown to be useful when working with children to reduce anxiety. By separating the child’s anxiety and worry from who they are as a person, they can experience a reduction in both anxiety and anxiety-related behaviors.

            While Gil and Karen’s son Justin may not be able to verbalize his concerns due to his age, the Narrative therapeutic approach has been shown to be useful when working with young children. At times, it utilizes a form of play therapy which allows a skilled and specially trained counselor to interact with the younger members of the family which can allow them to feel included in the therapeutic process (Larner, 1996).

Conclusion

            The family dynamics witnessed in the Buckman family is multifaceted, and while there may be differences between the nuclear and expanded family systems, they do share an underlying similarity. Utilizing the genogram, it is easier to identify the similarities and patterns present in an extended family, as well as the types of relationships present between members. Genograms also allow for clients to see the patterns that family members pass on, which include their worldviews, strengths, and resiliencies (Chavis, 2004), as well as the ineffective methods of coping and interaction that have been passed down the generations. By working with the family in the suggested therapeutic approaches, the anxiety and other related concerns that affect Gil, Karen, and the rest of their family in working through their current issues, as well as any that may arise in the future. It is important to remember that as individuals change, so do their roles within the family, and as such, the therapeutic styles need to be reevaluated for “goodness of fit” during the therapeutic relationship.

**References available upon request**