Wednesday, July 5, 2017

Fireworks and PTSD

As the fireworks light up the sky, millions of people gazing upwards towards the beauty. However, while watching fireworks may be a tradition enjoyed by generations of families, there is another side of this event that strikes fear into both animals and people. Imagine getting the feelings associated with fight or flight every time a firework is launched into the air or makes loud sonic booms. That is my life. However, it was not always like this, as I recall watching the performances put on by the local government in the Bay Area, as well as in New York, where I watched the lights from aboard a 41 foot Coast Guard small boat, with the lights illuminating the sky around the Statue of Liberty. But that is not my reality now.

Image result for fireworks new york coast guard
I think I can trace my switch in attitude regarding fireworks to 9/11. You see, I was stationed in Boston at the time of the attacks, and still remember working in Aux I space of a 270 foot cutter (I was a machinery technician in my previous life), when someone lowered the hatch on the space I was working. This was due to the threat of imminent attack due to our proximity. I hurried through the scuttle opening, making my way to the mess deck where the images of New York filled the large projection TV. As we made our way back to our shop (I was part of the Naval Engineering Support Unit), I decided that I would tell my chief that if they needed anyone, I wanted to go to New York. Not long after that, I was on my way, along with a handful of guys I was stationed with, to New York. Nobody knew exactly what the process was going to be or where we would be working. That was an experience that I will never forget.

Image result for 9/11/01 new york coast guard

The huge booms that accompany fireworks trigger the part of my brain where I either need to go find the source, or run like hell. Hence the term “fight or flight.” This is my reality. Loud sounds, including backfires from cars, if someone drops something and it makes a loud sound, and, yes, fireworks. Although I have never been screened for or diagnosed with PTSD, I am quite familiar with the symptoms, both from my personal experiences, as well as from the work I have done in my graduate studies on the topic. 

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Although I have worked on it, I am in the fight or flight mode much of the time. This is tiring and the excessive adrenaline that has no outlet is exhausting. Combine this with my chronic pain condition and other issues (there’s a long list, but I am currently rated at 30% disability through the military), and it truly wreaks havoc on my body and mind. See, this is what a sizable segment of the population feels when people light off the fireworks they buy from those tents that seem to show up each year around New Year’s and the 4th of July a week or two before these holidays. That means that for four weeks out of the year (1/12th of the year), there are fireworks going off sporadically, triggering an even higher level of anxiety. It’s fucking exhausting.

I dislike fireworks because no one thinks of the people suffering from PTSD nor do they think of pets being scared and running away.
It is not just people, like me, who are affected by these events, but animals as well. Our dogs get anxious, which, in turn, increases my anxiety. Fireworks can also trigger panic in wildlife, such as birds and squirrels. This can lead to the mothers abandoning their children and causing them to become too disoriented to return to their babies. Squirrels, small mammals, birds, bees, and butterflies have also been observed to display behavior that is detrimental to their health and life due to these fireworks. Additionally, when people don’t clean up their messes after they light off fireworks, it can cause death in animals due to ingesting the debris.
Image result for environmental impact of fireworks
This morning, after getting restless sleep due to the sporadic fireworks going off, I got up and started our dog walks, which consists of about 3.5 miles. I knew from previous holidays, particularly Halloween, the people in my area are slobs. So, being armed with this knowledge, I set out on our first walk with a garbage bag in hand, as well as the leash. By the time I got back home, it was full. No, not just full, but overflowing. That was just one walk. On the second walk, I picked up even more debris and reunited two wayward dogs with their sad excuse of a person. If I return your dogs, save your “I’m sorry” aimed at me, as you really need to apologize to your dogs for being such a horrible, thoughtless person, especially when I find out that this was the second time today that the dogs escaped and they are not wearing collars.

So, in short, be considerate. Don’t be a dick. Pick up after yourself. Have some compassion and empathy, as people, such as your neighbors, might be fighting an internal battle that they try to hide so well.

Image result for marijuana for ptsd

Pardon me, I have to go and medicate myself now. #puffpuffpass