Imagine this with explosive diarrhea |
Nature's Pain Relief |
Dude. I don’t even know where to start. It has been such a whirlwind and at times it feels as if I am barely hanging on, fingers about to slip into the swirling vortex of stress, anxiety, and, at times, depression. Fun times, right? Let’s not forget about the physical effects of this emotional turmoil, as I live with fibromyalgia and small fiber neuropathy, which can be aggravated by stress. Good thing I am not stressed, right? Oh, and diverticulitis and IBS are also affected by stress, so we’re over here playing naked Twister, trying not to soil ourselves. Great visual, right?
So, how did
we get here? Trees and heat. Seriously. See, I am not a fan of the heat and
grew up in the San Francisco Bay Area, where the use of air conditioners was
not something that was common, as the fog would often roll in, working as
Mother Nature’s air conditioning. I currently live in the desert. Sure, there
are some trees, but nothing like I lived among in the Pacific Northwest, where
I was living prior to moving to Texas, then New Mexico. Fortunately, I work
from home, so as long as I have an internet connection and WiFi, I’m good.
Well, my boyfriend has been putting in for jobs with his company in various
states, but all of which had cooler weather and either medicinal or recreational
marijuana. Those were our main criteria.
Animals are friends for life. Not disposable. Not ours to eat or breed. |
Fast
forward a few months and DING-DING-DING, we are bound for Durango, Colorado.
Oh, and his supervisor wants him there in about two weeks. TWO WEEKS. TWO.
MOTHERFUCKING. WEEKS. Not a problem. Let’s just work on finding a place,
packing up all of our belongings, including our dogs, a turtle, and fish
(because we are not the kind of people who put dogs up on Craigslist for “free”
because they are moving to a new place that doesn’t allow pets), and move to
another state in two weeks. Simple, right? Fuck.
So, in
order to ensure that we are not homeless once we arrive in Durango, we took a
trip up there. Leaving a little before 5am and getting back after 10pm, it was
a long day. But, we met with a realtor who showed us a place that we had been
talking with the current tenant and landlord . Everything was going well until
Monday morning, today, when I received an email from the current tenant, who
stated that the landlord was not satisfied with our background check (namely my
credit report), and as such, we would not be considered further for the house
that we wanted to rent. Hopes? Dashed to smithereens. My heart sank.
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Perhaps my
mood to hearing that we wouldn’t be able to rent the house we looked at was
intensified due to an event that occurred earlier in the day. I have been
having terrible post nasal drip for the past few months. It got to the point
where I physically collapsed several times, hitting my head on a hard surface a
few times due to becoming very lightheaded while trying to clear my throat of
stuff that can only be described as having the consistency of cold molasses. I
finally conceded to go to our local VA health clinic, where they gave me a shot
of an anti inflammatory and prescriptions to the EXACT SAME FUCKING THING I HAD
BEEN TAKING. Same dose. They then told me to come back into the clinic within
the following week if I am not feeling better.
Not |
Well, I am not feeling better, so I
went back to the VA clinic this morning, prior to hearing the news about the
place. Good thing too, as I would have probably been placed on a 5150 hold and
unable to do the things I need to do in regards to the move , school, and work.
After filling out the triage form, I took a seat and waited to be called back
to be seen. That would not happen today, as a nurse (?) called me up to the
window and told me that they can’t see me anymore since I had been referred out
via the Choice program and had a civilian primary care provider now. Well, I
saw that person once, for about five minutes, and she didn’t listen to me at
all during that time. I was also told the previous week to return to the clinic
location if I wasn’t feeling better. See the frustration?
Not actual house |
So, we’re back to square one,
looking for a place to live, while residing in a different state, seven hours
away. We have expanded our search radius. I didn’t want to, as it snows there
and my boyfriend will have to drive in the snow, which is why I wanted to be
relatively close to his work, which is in Durango. We will be filling out more
applications. One place looks like a murder house, but it’ll do for now, as the
owner will be fixing it up more come the warmer months and then put it up for
rent for a much higher price I presume.
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I am not one to ask for help
lightly. I often pride myself on my ability to do things all by myself.
However, I am not sure I will be able to maintain my sanity without a little
help. I have been diagnosed with a number of chronic pain conditions, which are
intensified by stress. I am trying to keep myself together, as the next month
will be very stressful. If possible, if you feel so inclined, I have set up a
link via PayPal if you would like to help me to maintain some sanity while we
go through this stressful time. My boyfriend’s company isn’t providing any
relocation assistance, so it’s just us, our savings, and rescues. After we get
settled in the new place, wherever that may be, I will be working on my mental
and physical health, finishing up my last course towards my MS degree in
Clinical Psychology with a specialization in Applied Research, and hopefully
able to breathe once again.
Thank you for reading and feel free to share this post with
others 😀