As I sit here in a hotel room, awaiting an event I have
trained for over the past year, I am full of reflection, anxiety, nervousness,
excitement…oh, and fear too. Not that many years ago, I sat alone in a hotel
room, but that experience was quite different, yet the same descriptions of
feelings were present. Then, I had attempted to overdose (on purpose), with a
note in my pocket for whoever was the person unlucky enough to find my body. Clearly,
my attempt was unsuccessful. A fact for which I am grateful.
Fast-forward a couple of years, to where I am now…in a hotel
room, clothes hung up for the events of the following day, a mini-fridge full
of Greek yogurt, skim milk, cottage cheese, G2 and Superfood with spirulina.
Oh, and some bananas, a couple gallons of water and some gummy bears that just jumped
in my bag (sneaky little guys).
Both of these events involved a possibility of death; the
overdose attempt and the “death waiver” I had to sign to participate in
tomorrow’s event. I find it interesting that two events, on the polar opposite
sides of the spectrum, have so much in common. Tonight’s reflection is focused
on how far I have come (and how far I still have left to go), the changes I
have made in my life and things I can focus on changing in the future. I can
feel the heart palpitations associated with anxiety, for the events of tomorrow
are like nothing I have ever attempted in the past.
Most of all…I am scared. Scared of failing; failing myself
and my team. We shall see.
And, just in case there are some readers who don't know what event I will be participating in tomorrow... here is the website
And, just in case there are some readers who don't know what event I will be participating in tomorrow... here is the website